Saturday, 19 June 2010

Smell of sleep-deprived breakfast

When a few people begin ignoring me I feel a sort of entitlement to say I'd really rather not care, but the truth of the matter is that deep down inside I truly am affected, both by criticisms and personal nitpicks directed towards me in hostile fashion. A typical reaction I exhibit as defence mechanism is to counter-ignore that said person, and so far it has been the root of all my problems with regards to the relationship, or whatever is left of it, not just to that said person but including everyone that surrounds me. It just decays itself in that situational anxiety and becomes a part of it, rotting in on itself and nobody would care to notice. Not even me. Or maybe I do notice it, to be frank, but the thing is what can I do about it? Nothing. Might as well swallow that wasted pride down the bucket and suck on bollocks. The ride home is one helluva shitstorm.

Carry on my awkward son.

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