Gangs of New Dork

So the week's about to end. Different situations, same results. I've remained a fucktard, for Pete's sake. There I was going in and out of the room and these people just don't value me. I'M YOUR DOMINATOR, DAMMIT! NOTICE ME! I yelled to myself. But nobody did and I remained so agitated. By then I wanted either to take one of them and kick his or her ass or play by their game, be nice and look smart. They noticed the smart but I doubt the nice. I wasn't able to back up my wit though. Guy across me was wimpy but resilient. I would have liked him if he wasn't such a half-arsed vuvuzela look-a-like. There's this woman, you see, she had really chubby cheeks. I could like her. Yeah. I could, but I'm still thinking about it. Not much my type. Chubby cheeks mean fat vags. Actually I made that one up. Personal theories are fun to make, they sort of wake up your migrated brain. It's not even winter yet. The whole country's actually burning hot and I loathe every single moment of it. So, another woman, looks like a penguin, thinks she's hardworking. Oooookay, hold your horses there, bird-mammal. Bet she's good at surfing. I've never tried those in my life. Me and water equates death. Another woman, fatty (NOT THE F'K AGAIN!), with unnatural hair colour. At first I thought she was going to eat me or something. The way she stares at me it's like she sees right through to your penis.. She kind of looks like a pornstar, what with the eye shadow and all. I'd do her, but she probably already did me in her dreams. I think she likes me. What a slut. Another woman, old, her mammoths are unfit for her body contour. She would have looked dastardly ugly if not for her mammoths. Pass. Give her to someone like the guy next to me.

Lots of choices now actually but those were the most common ones I came across. The Despicables, I call them. Down to their very core. Despicable, yes, they are.