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Ignore my weakness

Don't ignore me.

Too late for that now. Everyone has made up their minds. It's funny how people handle that sort of rejection and funny too how I react to this. It's not like it's the first time that has ever happened. It's just that I could never figure out for the life of me how such a thing could lead from one point to the next just like that. It baffles me quite deeply. This lifelong experiment has been quite a colossal disappointment for me because experiments are not meant to be done in realtime.

But I did, and I paid the ultimate price. One could say I deserve what I got, but still I can't pinpoint the exact mistake that led to the demise. I now realise how powerful my eyes work in such magical ways that even these alone can sway others' perception just by a spurt of the moment. It's much easier to achieve if the aim of the goal is to fail rather than a positive feedback, much because depending on circumstances it could either be that physical aspect can be a factor, the timing, the relationship, or the intention. All of which are deeply complex and none matches one specific outcome. It all depends on how the reaction of the other person portrays, either positively or negatively.

My intention was for the latter aspect which in turn was too risky for the job. I pushed through and here I am solid as a rock. Word of advice: Do not try to experiment on emotions unless stoic, against sentimentality, accident-prone, and lastly prepared for the worst case scenario.

Or just go with the normal stream of life like dead fishes do.

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