Thursday, 17 November 2011

Smells Like Dysfunction

'We're in this together now,' she says to me. 'We will make it through somehow.'

I said nothing, remained transfixing my sight on to her, and suppressing an overwhelming wincing sensation inside me. I thought it's either she's delirious or hopelessly clueless. So I decided to wait, harnessed all my opinions, and waiting for the right opportunity to unload it all.

'Well,' her eyebrow rose, mouth open. 'You aren't helping at all with silence.'

What answer does she want?

'I think it's better if you let it be,' I tell her coolly, as if understanding fully the situation.

Her eyebrows immediately drowned and made me feel a bit queasy. 'I don't get it,' she says. 'But I think I understand where you're coming from. You do make a fine point. Let's take that into consideration.'

I certainly didn't get what she meant by that but somehow I felt jubilated.

Now feeling confident, I asked, 'So what do you want me to do about it?'

She looked away and said, 'Nothing. Keep on doing what you think is necessary.'

She's playing mind games with me, that I can easily tell.

'Fine,' I said. 'But if you ever decide otherwise I'll be here.' I told her that only to reassure that I am truly safe from any sort of trouble that may or may not arise in the future.

She left without saying goodbye. I hate that. It never makes any sense unless you're upset, but she never gave me any clue if she was. How could I even tell without a mystical crystal ball?

I went home torturing myself inside the gym, and then promised to let everything go, let it all be.

Search and destroy