You think that's where it's at but it's not where it's supposed to be

Another day rounded off the calendar inching closer to our goodbyes, we muster. My erection turned sour during the sweet morning sex when our bodies just collapse into neverending terms, unendearing and, like a slap to the face, just disheartening. She rolls over to one side, sobbing in tears as she takes my mobile phone, while I crawl to her dark, juicy female bits.

I can't have it, I thought. This is just so wrong.

I stopped smiling when she stopped caring. Her tears were reptilian and traitorous. Never trust tears from a crocodile despite its best efforts to value your love.

''Open your legs,' I started to beg. 'Please.' The desperation inside me was pathetic, my pride dwindling as my cock is shrinking.

She offers no response. Her legs tight shut like a dried ceramic. Her naked form though never fails to impress.

We spent our afterbed in petty and frivolous arguments. This relationship is going down fast, I recall myself say.

She looked down to the ground and pouted, never saying a word. Her eternal weakness is her lack of internal defensive mechanism. She's either built for a saintly hombre with a penchant for romance or to be manhandled by a freak with no remorse to her but his own responsibility.

And I always believed she was the one.

We both stopped argument after she held my hands and bossed me to shut up, as if she had the commanding voice of reason. But she kissed me, and, by all accounts, that constitutes a kneejerking freefall for myself, forgetting every single thing that happened beforehand, despite me crushing her heart with the discovery of my conversation with an old flame. Then there's also that bruise in her left leg that turned out to be of my own negligence.

Fuck it all.

She kissed me and whispered, 'I want to make love with you again tonight.'

My lips were kept sealed, and I offered her food. Hypocrite.

'Let's go out,' I said, despite telling her ten minutes ago that I did not want to because of her theatrics.

'Okay.'

And we danced around the cold moonlight as if nothing ever happened, breezed through the crowd and into the warmth of the nearby edifices.

This was the first day that she became my fiance.

We never made love.