Skip to main content

The fight to leave this country and go to South Korea

My life will certainly not be reassured of any penance after starting this Korean odyssey, but it will certainly jumpstart it into a different setting and a new beginning. It's been taking so long to fix this and I fear that my vendetta will be sorely disappointed with the results. Protip: It's going to be a train wreck. 

I haven't told Mioseon yet and I don't intend to anytime soon. My plan was to come guns blazing and see things for myself in unadulterated sight. This is to feed my paranoia, the thing that keeps me alone in a dark room as a self-proclaimed hikikomori. A couple of days before the hour of reckoning, and I feel a strange sensation that everything that I've ever worked for will self-destruct right before my eyes. I'm so fucking stoked that I ate a bagful of my own fingernails in excitement.

Money. It all falls down to money. Once my visa arrives, I head down immediately to the Korean embassy and wait for confirmation. Then from London I would devise a plan to get to Seoul then to Busan the cheapest way. By hook or by crook, I need to be there. I need to witness for myself. 

With my trusty rucksack and a heart full of hurt, I will labour this demise. I know the address, I have the dictionary needed to be able to converse, and I have the determination to survive whatever else happens. The last thing that Mioseon will expect is me camping out her window.

Popular posts from this blog

Snippet: In her darkest days, Elaine (worldbuilding), unfinished

Voices of strange busybodies could be heard on the other side of the edifice. Elaine reckoned she recognised one of them. An old friend. Perhaps not necessarily a friend, or not technically a friend. A friend is a rare commodity for her these days. She could walk right past them and not blink an eye, but Elaine waited for a little bit more until the lot toned down. Having a group of opposites around her, poking her skin through their eyes, meticulously making sure she was an enabler who to them an abundant source of entertainment, was all the reason needed to convince herself to back away from the complexity of it all. Home is an awful lot more awful than this place though, Elaine thought, as she gripped her handbag tightly, hoping the ray of darkness from the moon would envelope her and shield her from the attention of the lonesome trail.
"This would not have happened had you only listened to me, Elaine," complained Darco. "Half the people out there would skin us both…

Unprayer

Dark, darker, darkest, there is no difference. All hurts the same. Pain, everlasting, lingering. Pain, day and night. The hours are uncertain. Anything can happen now. Thinking about it hurts. Truth is unreliable. The romance is dead. My heart, it is lost. Unrecoverable, hateful, distrusting. Wishful, perhaps, but I have lost everything before and survived still. This one was special. So special. Embittered, the tip of my tongue tastes. The flavour of my life. Cuisine of kitchens unwanted. It burns, to the heart. I do not understand. I do not understand.

Me: Things that have happened to other people are happening in mine, the worst truly has come and not a moment too soon

My important wishes always happen to fall on deaf ears, and now something really, really bad (that has already happened before) is happening to me again. Beneath all the charade of misleading coulrotic bliss is a sad sap of a man merely wanting a bit of trust from everyone around him. Yesterday's news was Mioseon all over again, and it has drained me of all strength. The worst really has come, and heaven knows I'm miserable now.
So it goes without saying that the biggest tragedy I have ever undergone in my life is fighting for the life of my child whose face I will never see. The most perplexing event was having to beg over and over unknowingly oblivious to the fact that my words carry no weight at all. Mioseon had trapped me into a corner and made me complicit to a sin I tried very hard to disavow. Regardless, she had found a way, and judging from that experience, Miriam herself will submit me to the same torture all over again, guilty by association.
For some reason this wa…