Friday, 26 April 2013

Sunny Diaries - D8: The twisted sense of joy in rage

A week has passed. We should have been there by now. My Mioseon cradles herself to sleep in a hobbit hole here in Glencoe where we just had a challenging night of barbs and quips and japes and threats. I would have left were I not pushed back by the cold and barren night, as well as the hole left in my bank account. Fort William is only a day away and still we remain here struggling to find our refuge from this battle of wits and drizzles.

A week ago, right before we took the walk, we had a similar situation at the bus station. I was already inside a bus heading to Milngavie ready to leave when she came at the last minute to sit beside me and reconcile. In hindsight, these battles of ours are seemingly petty and brought about only by my own selfish reasons. She had little to do with these actions, although there are concerns of her unwillingness to learn from these mistakes.

We rushed forth knowing that the walk would be arduous and challenging, and not until the past couple of days where rain was a common occurrence that we find ourselves at the mercy of each other's company. She had been a worthy company, resilient and confident, albeit somewhat spoiled and posh, and I was, for the first time in my life, the main working man of the group. I became pushy and bossy, and when my commands go unheeded, I snap, thinning the thread that binds our love together. Just because of that we break a shard in our hearts even though we are madly crazy about each other.

I can see the lovely view from our hobbit hole here in Glencoe such a marvelous view of the famed munro, the like of which my jaw breaks in awe. Somehow this obstacles of ours as a couple are made better by the surrounding wonders of the locale, and through it we find joy being enraged.

Friday, 19 April 2013

Sunny Diaries - D1: Glasgow Reloaded

Here I go again. Me and Mioseon landed our feet in Glaswegia after a ten-hour trip from London Victoria. That time spent inside the nauseamobile was depressing, but not entirely bad what with having intimate time with Mioseon and all. She provided me with the nourishment my heart and spirit needs, and my worries dissipate along with the hale that greeted us at Salford.

Our goal was to take a week of spiritual journey to finish the West Highland Way. It's going to be her first while it would be my second. Funny how we end up in a circle. First we find our paths crossed in this exact same place we currently find ourselves at, and our remaining time together will be spent doing the same thing I have always wanted us to do on our first day out. I feel like a Phoenix brought to life for pushing through with a promise which then I tried to shrug off. Now we can comfortably say farewell with teary eyes but open arms, longing for the day we will ourselves encapsulated in the same bubble we find ourselves in now.

Our love story is anything but normal. My transformation is anything but normal. My love is anything but normal. Yet I am nothing but normal.

We arrived at ten in the evening, had a hearty dinner at the McDonald's at Jamaica close to the hostel where we met. We booked a night at Eurohostel, made love, and realised we might finally be good enough for each other that we are both willing to give our lives all to make the littlest things matter. The sexual encounters are atrocious delivered thanks to me, but her efforts to please are appeasing and warm. This is what I long for in life; the simplicity and higher acceptance with each other. No other man or woman has ever given me this much light, and I will be damned to let go of her as easily.

Glaswegia is surprisingly tame for a Thursday night, with dodgy characters lurking about here and there, but the bosoms and the martyrs are nowhere to be found. I was expecting more, to be honest. Tomorrow a friend awaits us, and our passions rekindled from a past which I thought was forgone. One day of madness is perfectly fine. 

This place has dramatically changed personalities since the last time I set foot. It was only six months ago and so many things have changed. Hopefully the day will bring light all the answers that I seek and all the chagrin that stalled our welcome here today. May the night drown us in warmth and affection as well, so that we may value our last remaining days together in perfect, harmonious synchrony.

Search and destroy