Calm before the storm.
Friday, 27 March 2015
Thursday, 26 March 2015
Somehow I feel revitalised by the prospect of a new flame.
A bird whose wings are not that far off from the previous dame;
Whose talons are as sharp as her wit can only be whetted whole,
And whose beauty is paralleled only by the purity of her soul.
She strengthens my laborious days.
She inspires my mind in many different ways.
She speaks to me without a shred of malice,
Unlike those others whose hearts are callous
Her words make my spirit smile, and I want her to stay for awhile;
Like when she said a magical thing happened in her life when she met me.
I was eating lunch when I read it, and I had to choke on my tea.
I want to deserve her, the best that I could possibly be;
Avoid the same mistakes and the pain I foresee.
There's a storm ahead and I feel fine;
Dark days are coming but my intentions are divine.
Tuesday, 17 March 2015
Sunday, 15 March 2015
A budding feeling grows inside me. Like a lost flower in a desolate place.
I know I don't deserve this yet. I tell myself this every day. But it's there, and I want to keep it, just in case something special blossoms. I'm frightened at the thought of losing it, and it's not as if I have it, but I can feel something special. Like the first time I had it. Like the first kiss around the same days as now. Bitter thoughts, painful memories, learning processes. I never want to make the same mistakes again.
Miles apart. There is still time for me to change, to improve, to strengthen what I lack, rather than bury myself with these Bunburyist tendencies. I don't want to live a lie. Like the first time I did it. Like the first words that came out of my mouth during those old times. Hostile thoughts, unsavoury memories, tragic missteps. I want to make this one right and learn from the past.
If only I could claw my way out of this miserable block.
That's part of the challenge. That's part of the change. With ten quid somewhere hiding within one of these pockets, I need to buy myself a miracle. A new mindset, and a fresh optimism to go along with it.