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And little by little

Work had been done in small doses. I now feel like a huge load had been lifted from my back. It is however never enough. That is life's greatest Catch-22. You get to do some work, have some life, and still you need to work more to have more life. Apparently one can only have so little in life before everything else implodes. We are all made with built-in time bombs after all to diminish the value of what we have done in our lives.

The road to mine is paved with wide indifference. Everyone else is too bothered about themselves to be bothered by mine. I have literally been living in a hedge for months now, and for what? For a chance to feel something better come December, when the thing that matters most actually culminates into something special. Miriam is a name that will become a household commodity, and I have moved on from the other M for quite some time now, which sickens me to think I have even bothered with it. I am imprisoned by my own past, and now I long for this new potential.

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I had recently adorned a vow of silence for myself with Miriam for no apparent reason whatsoever other than to suit my whim, and, regardless of the pettiness associated with this misdemeanour, I pray this will only strengthen us both in spirit for the coming days. The coming days are definitely not meant for one such as me.
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Call it a burning desire to urinate on the system that we as people have established; status quo. Felt a huge fluctuation of anxiety when I finished this day earlier than what I would have thought or expected, and it was technically my first day of job (again), and huge surges of this same rhetoric came pouring back in when Miriam and I have not been having proper back-and-forths since yesterday. It was as if we had lost interest with one another just like that. Either that or I have been consumed by the same system of dependency. The bug that I caught long ago that ruined me to smithereens.
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